


One Day...

by SakuraLilly



Category: Original Work
Genre: Beaches, Depression, Gen, Internal Monologue, Ocean, Rain, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Female Character, unnamed main character - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraLilly/pseuds/SakuraLilly
Summary: A trans girl lays down on a beach and reflects on their life and how miserable it is.





	One Day...

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of this is just a load of venting that I really didn't know how else to express. Please don't read if any of the tags disturb you in any way. It isn't too suicidal, but it does touch on that a little.

A cool breeze flows by, causing my fringe to blow in front of my eyes. My hand lies outstretched in front of me, pointing up towards the miserable grey clouds that loom above me. Warm water slowly laps at my sides, the fabric of my clothes pressed against my body. The sand below my back shifts occasionally as small trickles of the tide find the gaps underneath me.

_ What’s the point of it all? _ My hand curls into a fist as I let my arm fall, hitting the water with a splash.  _ No one will ever accept me. _

A particularly large wave causes a surge of water to temporarily submerge me. I let my eyelids close and picture myself in far deeper water, imagining the sand falling away from underneath me, letting me sink deeper and deeper into the depths of the ocean.

Before I can get immersed in my dream, I feel the chill of the evening air once more. My eyes lazily open, the clouds still darkening the sky.  _ Would the sea just carry me away if I stayed here forever? Anything would be better than being here, in this place, with these people. _

A white butterfly flutters into my vision, its beautiful wings contrasting the background above. I slowly lift my hand back up, reaching out towards the one spot of light that I can see.

Before my hand can even close half the distance, the butterfly starts to fly higher into the sky. After a few seconds, I lose sight of it altogether. My hand freezes in the air.

I stay like this for a while, closing my eyes and letting my other senses take over. The warmth of the water and the chill of the breeze causing the two halves of my body to contrast each other, the salty taste left over in my mouth from the water that managed to slip past my lips previously, the sound of the tide rolling in around me combining with the calls of the seagulls up above, and the familiar briny scent of the ocean that has started to gain a tinge of familiarity to it.

_ I hate this body, I hate this voice, I hate this life. Why did I have to have been born this way, to have been born… wrong? _ I let my hand fall to my chest.  _ This is all so pointless; I’m just yelling into a void. Nothing will ever change. I can’t let these thoughts be known and I can’t bear to keep them inside. Is there even a point to me being here, no one would miss me if they knew. _

I start to hear splashes in the water around me, slow at first but picking up in frequency and volume as the seconds tick by. The raindrops finally start to hit my body, the continuous drumming distracting my mind from my thoughts.

As the rain grows in intensity, the pellets of water gain in size and speed as they continue to fall from the sky, piercing the surface of the water and falling onto my chest and face. Each drop feeling like a bullet of water, making me feel one step closer to the one escape I know of, but the only one I know I could never take.

One day… I’ll find a place to be comfortable in.

One day… I’ll get to be myself.

One day…

One day…


End file.
